Want to increase the payback you get from your direct marketing efforts and other printed materials? Then consider using stories to build the value of what you are selling to be greater in the mind of the prospect than the price they pay for it. Let me explain---

Sure, you can simply bullet point the benefits in your direct marketing sales copy, but why not add a bit of a story to go along with them? Those of you who have been reading my stuff for a while know that stories are a powerful way to sell because they draw the reader in and help keep them reading on. That increased interest is what will boost your response rate.

Here is an example of some typical direct marketing copy that will probably sell its share of CD duplicators:

“Here’s how the X12 can work for you---
* The X12 has twelve CD writers each with 40x recording speed so your duplicated CDs are produced faster and more reliably.
* Production costs are reduced by writing to an internal hard drive, so up to 12 short run CDs can be created in 4 minutes or less.
* Easy and intuitive to use, it allows for labor-saving unattended operation
* Automatically detects master types without users having to know anything about CD formats.”

But, here’s the same copy with a bit of a story woven though it to get and keep the reader involved:

“ Since we have been in the business of CD duplication for years ourselves, we wanted to design and build a machine that you could make money with. Our engineers found that to do this we needed to have a least twelve CD writers each with 40x recording speed. To guarantee bulletproof reliably, we ran 7 months of expensive independent quality control tests at a cost of over $106,000. We also spent the money to develop a failsafe way to cut costs by writing to an internal hard drive, so your short run CDs can be created in 4 minutes or less. Our own production supervisors wanted a duplicator that was easy to use so any of our employees could run it--- so we successfully tested it with new hires that had just 45 minutes of training. To keep labor costs in line and keep our accountant happy, the X12 was built for unattended operation so you can just load in blank CDs and walk away from it. It even automatically detects CD master types so users don’t have to know anything about CD formats.”

Which text better helps support the price of the CD duplicator? Which one is more interesting to read and more likely to be acted upon? By supplying additional detail though a story the copywriter has better supported the value of the machine relative to its price.

--Jim McCraigh