Direct Marketing Copywriting
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			Editing Sales Copy: Good English or Better Sales? I usually get two or three notes a year from writers, editors or school teachers who zealously point out that some the direct marketing materials I’ve written fall short of their standards for "good English". Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate good grammar as much as the next person--- but not at the expense of sales. My goal here is not grammatical perfection, but to produce the maximum amount of profit possible. Let me explain--- I can’t argue with the fact that faultless form is essential when we write to prospective employers, college admissions officers or others we need to impress. But in sales letters, direct marketing pieces, or in ads "proper English" can act to weaken your materials--- and can be downright dangerous for your bottom line! Well-written sales materials are conversational in tone and sound more like how we talk than how we write. If we edit away informal warmth and friendliness, sales copy can start to sound stiff or forced, alienating the reader. When you stop to think about it, most of us do speak in partial sentences, one liners and even single words. That’s what can make a foreign language so hard to master, because real people don’t speak or write like schoolbooks. They speak in little "sound bites" to clearly communicate in the most efficient way possible--- just like good copywriting should. A lot of times, when asked to approve sales copy, many people will take out their red pen and start marking it up for grammatical errors while missing the whole point--- Will this copy sell product or not? Last week I saw a sign in a restaurant window that read--- "Warm Apple Pie with a Double Scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream." It made my mouth water--- I could just taste the tart, warm fruit mixed with the cold, sweet ice cream just from reading the sign. And it wasn’t even a complete sentence--- so I went in and had a piece! Editing Copy for Better Response Consider editing your copy to make it easier to read, more appealing to the senses and more believable--- not for textbook perfect form. It's OK--- even desirable, to use sentence fragments, one sentence paragraphs, and sentences that begin with taboo words like "or", "and", or "but" to grab and keep the prospect’s attention! Feel free to use capital letters, indents, bullets, quotation marks, and exclaimation points for emphasis. Short thoughts and tight phases will better make your point faster and keep the prospect reading longer. Let the excitement you have for your offering show through in your copy. You may take some grief from bosses, partners or critics, but they'll soon come around when they see increaing sales and profits! Here are some more tips to keep in mind when editing and polishing your letters, ads and brochures. Does your copy--- * Promise a big, bold benefit in the headline and then deliver on it? * Draw the reader in at the first paragraph and make them keep reading? * Read easily with large text, underlines and highlights? * Use small words instead of big ones? * Have extra words edited out to read faster? * Use short sentences and short paragraphs? * Use subheads that allow readers to scan? * Create a desire on the part of the prospect to take action right now? * Use bullet points instead of longer sentences? * Have a strong offer that the prospect can’t refuse? * Contain specific proof of any claims it makes? --- Jim McCraigh Copyright 2003 J. McCraigh, Business Growth Strategies May be copied and distributed freely if author credited.